


Friendly Neighborhood Watch

by hereforthephilindafics



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, F/M, MCU Kink Bingo, Masturbation, Penis In Vagina Sex, Sexual Fantasy, Voyeurism, Wet & Messy, walking in on others having sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-18
Updated: 2020-02-18
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:46:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22779685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hereforthephilindafics/pseuds/hereforthephilindafics
Summary: Coulson's habit of being early to pick up May for their missions makes him an accidental voyeur to her morning sex with Andrew.For the MCU Kink Bingo 2020Square Filled: Character Walks in on Others Having Sex
Relationships: Andrew Garner/Melinda May, Phil Coulson/Andrew Garner, Phil Coulson/Melinda May
Comments: 7
Kudos: 32
Collections: MCU Kink Bingo Round 4





	Friendly Neighborhood Watch

Coulson liked the neighborhood May and Andrew had picked; the streets were quiet, the houses well kept, their neighbors seemed nice. It was a pain in the ass to drive to from D.C to pick May up for missions but Coulson made that sacrifice for his best friend’s sake.

She was happy and he was happy for her. May had not been sure about Andrew in the beginning, but something along the way had flipped, to the point that she had eloped with him. Coulson chuckled as he parked in their driveway. Andrew’s car was still there. He frowned. He was early, but still later than usual. 

Coulson decided to kill some time and read one of the Captain America comics he had bought on his last trip to New York. He flipped through a few pages but couldn’t concentrate. He looked up at the house. There were no open windows, no lights left on, but Coulson knew Andrew hadn’t left yet. Had they both overslept? He fidgeted with his dashboard controls for a few minutes before curiosity got the best of him.

Outside was quiet and sunny, it was a Tuesday after all, almost everyone was at work. Coulson walked toward the front door. May’s garden was growing nicely. She couldn’t chop a cabbage, but she could definitely grow one. He knew sometimes she liked to sit and talk to her plants.

Coulson almost had to use his martial arts training to avoid being smacked in the face by an oversized plant leaf as soon as he opened the front door. It was unlocked of course. The offending plant in question was the one he had gifted May and Andrew as a housewarming present when they closed on the house. Neither of them was big on entertaining but Coulson had wanted to do something nice. The plant, which he had tried to name Jerry, was growing strong and happy, tucked between the front door and the living room window to get the best light.

Coulson stood in the middle of the living room and observed the piano facing him. The music sheet was rumpled, May must have played last night. The rest of their living room was sparsely furnished. One couch, one love seat, a coffee table, and a chair with a bunch of books piled on it. There were no pictures because May hated them.

Coulson smiled as he walked toward the kitchen. He wondered how his apartment would look to May, if Andrew would be able to psycho-analyze him based on his décor. He wasn’t even sure what his place said about him these days. He was gone most of the time; flying from New York to D.C, eating out, waking up in unfamiliar beds and doing it all over again before he had time to think what this pattern meant.

He realized he had been standing in the kitchen, staring at one of Andrew’s dishtowels while spacing out. The coffee machine was still on. Coulson touched the rim of the coffee cup, it was lukewarm. May’s smoothie was untouched. He looked up when something creaked upstairs and frowned. Were they in danger and he had been too caught up in his own melancholy to realize it before? They did leave the front door unlocked after all.

Coulson pulled out his gun and walked up the stairs silently, staying close to the wall. He stepped on something lacy and white but kicked it to the side and continued down the hall. Nothing else seemed out of place. He frowned when he thought he heard a high-pitched whine, so he moved faster toward the noise.

“Oh oh oh...”

It sounded like Melinda. Was she hurt?

“Fuck, Drew, yes right there keep doing it!”

Shit!

“Babe, I’m gonna cum soon.”

“No not yet! Can you hold on form me, please? I need to cum I’m so close...mmmm.”

Coulson had frozen in the middle of the hallway that led to the master bedroom. Why couldn’t these two assholes lock their damn front door. He should leave. And yet...

“Drew, pull out. I need you to fuck me from behind, please… please!”

Coulson had never heard Melinda be this loud or say that many words. He walked toward the bedroom and leaned against the wall, peeking his head out. Andrew was standing at the end of the bed. Damn he looked good. Wide shoulders and tight ass. His muscles rippled as he moved his hips. He gripped Melinda’s hips and slapped her ass. She was bent over the bed, fisting the sheets. Her flesh was red and marked with fingerprints, her tits swung from the movements, nipples hard.

“Right there right there oh fuck...circles babe...oh oh oh fuck, Drew!”

Melinda’s back arched as she came. She flipped her hair over her shoulder and stood up on her knees for a second, but Andrew pushed her back down.

Coulson palmed his dick. Fuck, he was hard. He should leave, this wasn’t right. Andrew hadn’t come yet. He was grunting and growling as he rutted into Melinda.

“If I don’t come soon, I’m gonna lose it,” Andrew said. He pulled out of Melinda and shoved her down on the mattress, turning her on her back and spreading her thighs.

Coulson caught a glimpse of his cock. Holy shit! It was huge, hard and dripping. How could Melinda take that without splitting open? He squeezed his dick.

“You’re so wet, babe.”

Somehow, she was taking it because Andrew started fucking her again. Melinda moaned, clutching the sheets. He pushed her knees to her chest and pounded into her, pulling her nipples now and then as her tits bounced.

“Drew...so good.”

“Fuck babe...I’m gonna...”

Andrew’s body froze as he pushed himself deeper into Melinda. He grunted and she mewled as she was pumped full of cum. Andrew collapsed on top of her.

Coulson flew down the stairs. He hoped and prayed there would be no neighbors outside because they would clearly see his erection. He had his cock out before he even locked the doors of the SUV. He was very grateful to S.H.I.E.L.D for the dark tinted windows.

He grunted as he jerked off. “Fuck fuck fuck!” There was no finesse in his movements, he just needed to come.

He imagined it was him fucking May from behind, pounding into her while grabbing handfuls of her ass. Fucking her tight pussy until she gushed all over him. Andrew would be jerking his monster cock until Coulson asked him to suck it. He would slurp around the head and tickle the ridge where the head met the shaft.

Coulson would love to lay on the bed, hang his head off the edge while Andrew fucked his throat. Melinda would be bouncing on his dick, her nipples hard and swollen. He would not be able to get her out of his mind like that; naked and horny. Coulson closed his eyes and moaned, recalling how her breasts had looked. They were small but firm and pert, bouncing with every thrust. Coulson’s tip started leaking again. He resumed his stroking, whining at the sensitivity.

“Oh fuck...”

He growled as he dug his balls out of his boxers. Andrew’s balls had hung low, they looked heavy. Coulson mewled, thinking how much he’d love to deep throat Andrew, see if he made the same noises with a man, if he was still rough. He jerked his cock, changing his speed so not to come too soon. This was sweet torture! It was also crazy and irresponsible, but it has been a long time since Coulson had been this turned on.

He wondered if May was always that horny in the morning or if going on a mission gave her libido an extra kick. Fuck! The noises she made. Coulson moaned and jerked off the tip of his cock as he recalled the squelching sounds her wet pussy made. She was tiny but she could take a big cock.

Coulson moaned as his cum exploded everywhere “Shit shit shit!”

There was nothing he could do to stop it, streams of white fluid kept spurting out, his hips jumping with the pleasure of the aftershocks. He leaned his head against the seat and whined. His hand squeezed the base of his cock before stroking all the way to the tip, gathering the cum still bubbling there. He collapsed against the seat, one hand griping his cock, the other sinking into the leather of the seat so he didn’t scream. Coulson panted, stroking his cock slowly until it was too sensitive.

He sat up in his seat, looking around. There was cum all over the dashboard and seats. Coulson sighed and took off his shirt, wiping everything clean. Luckily, he always kept a change of clothes in his car. He changed into his other suit and took a few deep breaths, gripping the steering wheel tight.

A tap on the window almost made him reach for his gun. Coulson almost blushed when he saw Andrew standing there, smiling.

“Hey, man, why didn’t you come inside?”

Coulson really hoped Andrew didn’t smell the cum as he rolled down his window. “Uhhh… just got here a few minutes ago.”

“That’s a first for you, you’re usually early.”

 _Yeah, lucky me_. “Traffic was a bitch. I’m going to start charging May for travel expenses.”

Andrew laughed. “Good luck with that! Listen, I gotta run, I’m late for class. Melinda is on her way down.”

Coulson felt like he was listening to the conversation outside of his body. He really wanted a nap, not to drive for another hour to their pickup location. Shit, Andrew was still standing there. “Have a good class.”

“You good, Phil?”

“Yeah, just tired. Got in late from New York last night.” Not necessarily a lie.

“Be careful, and Phil,” Andrew turned from walking to his car, “take care of her, please.”

Coulson nodded and watched him drive off from the rear-view mirror. The image of Andrew’s ass was going to haunt him forever. His attention snapped to the click of the door. May walked toward him, looking as professional as ever in one of her signature suits. Coulson did notice a little spring in her step. He smirked. If he had to suffer, so would she.

“Morning, Coulson,” she said, getting in the car. “You’re here late. That’s a first.”

Coulson checked the rear-view mirror before he backed out of the driveway and merged onto the street. “Oh no, I was here with plenty of time, but I thought I give you and Andrew a few extra minutes.”

Melinda stared at the road ahead.

Coulson smirked. “You know, your neighborhood is pretty safe, but I’d still lock the door when you plan to jump your husband’s bones five minutes before I pick you up.”

The only tell that Melinda had heard him was her breathing quickening.

“Unless you two are into exhibitionism, in which case this might be the wrong—

Melinda punched him in his right arm.

“Hey! That is very unsafe to do to a driver!”

She turned to glare at him. “What did you tell Andrew?”

“What you think I’m an idiot? Plus, you’re my best friend, not he. I already feel awful for intruding on a moment like that.”

“I can offer you some bleach for your brain.”

“Oh no,” Coulson turned to look at her briefly, “I didn’t say it wasn’t pleasant.” He went back to watching the road.

Melinda cleared her throat and wiggled in her seat. “Mandy left you a voicemail. She was very much looking forward to seeing you again when you came back from New York. And looking forward to…ahem…sucking that big cock of yours!”

Coulson rolled his eyes as he took the exit. “You know, I gave you my pass-code for emergencies.”

“It was an emergency, I wanted to make sure she’s good enough for you.”

Coulson laughed. “Okay, let’s call our overstepping into each-other’s lives even for this month.”

Melinda chuckled, leaned her head against the seat, and looked at him biting her lower lip. “It’s good to have you back. I feel like I barely see you these days.”

“I definitely saw more than enough of you this morning.”

Coulson laughed and pretended to swerve into the next lane as Melinda pinched him.

**Author's Note:**

> I just had to write Phil as bi. You cannot catch Melinda and Andrew have sex and only think of one of them while jerking off in the car like a teenager.


End file.
